The night the (guard) rails came off
11:30 a.m., Monday, Dec. 8 – A man returned to the Firehouse Restaurant after catching a ride home with friends the previous night. Expecting his car to still be on the menu, he discovered it had already been served elsewhere. A records check showed Washington State Patrol had impounded the vehicle earlier that morning after it was found crashed into a guardrail near Campbell Lake Road. The owner claimed no idea how his car made the trip and signed it off as stolen. Morris Street

Chilled out – of the park
4:15 a.m., Wednesday, Dec. 10 – Deputies responded to Pioneer Park after a 17-year-old female called in looking for shelter and a break from the cold. None of the shelters contacted would take a juvenile. A family member was located and agreed to take her in until warmer — and better — arrangements could be made. Pioneer Park

Prescription for confusion
4:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 11 – Housekeeping at the La Conner Inn discovered a large bag of medications left behind by a guest who had already checked out — apparently without checking their meds. The pharmaceuticals were secured until the guest returns. First Street

Life’s a ditch
4 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 13 – A car and a truck met at high speed near the intersection and decided the ditches were the best place to end the night. No injuries were reported, but both vehicles required a tow after officially losing the ability to go anywhere under their own power. La Conner Whitney at McLean Road

Dressed down with merlot
7 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 13 – A barely dressed and highly intoxicated subject entered Pioneer Market, with pants nearly falling off and judgment already gone. Staff refused alcohol sales, and deputies later located the subject — along with outstanding warrants and a stolen bottle of wine hidden on his person. The subject was taken into custody and charged, bringing an end to the no-shirt, no-service tour. Morris Street