Attention deficit

11:37 a.m. Tuesday, Sept. 23 A driver pulling into a parking space at Pioneer Market failed to notice someone trying to exit their car in the adjacent parking space.The car door got clipped, and a pedestrian was nearly turned into a pancake in the parking lot. Thankfully, it ended with paperwork, not paramedics. Morris Street.

Dental extraction postponed

8:10 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 24 A dental office reported a car in the lot with no cavity but plenty of abandonment issues. Deputies couldn’t reach the owner, so the vehicle got tagged for a potential tow. Maple Avenue.

Bark vs. bite

3:15 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 24 At La Conner Middle School, a soccer coach found himself refereeing off the field when a woman taking her dogs onto the field during setup for a game barked at his player. After being told dogs aren’t allowed, she unleashed a string of foul language worthy of a red card before storming off ahead of deputies’ arrival. North Sixth Street. 

Checks checked

11:00 a.m. Thursday, Sept. 25 Deputies were asked to balance the books on a daughter accused of shortchanging her father. After reviewing the account, they found no foul play — just interest well-managed. In this case, being a trust-worthy daughter really paid dividends. South Second Street. 

Invisible bumper car

3:20 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 27 A driver returned to find their parked car had been kissed (not lovingly) by a hit-and-run vehicle. No notes, no suspects, just a lonely dent. Deputies are checking nearby cameras to see if someone’s bumper crop can be identified. Third Street. 

Booze cruise on foot

9:56 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 27 An intoxicated man was spotted treating the street like his personal pinball machine, bouncing off cars and wobbling into traffic. Deputies tucked him into his hotel room for the night with strict orders to stay in his lane. Third Street.